I am failing at Christmas.
There will be no Christmas Cards sent, cookie exchanges attended, nor thoughtful packages of cookies distributed to new neighbors. No Christmas lights have been hung on our house, or adorable DIY wreath on our door. I only have 3 stockings for my 4 children, and I hate them (the stockings, not the kids). I am failing at Christmas.
(Wouldn’t this have made a cute Christmas card? oh well.)
Our gifts aren’t all bought and they should have already been mailed off to faraway family in time for Christmas. I don’t even have a clue of what to give them. I am failing at Christmas.
We missed the local penance services, haven’t been doing daily Jesse Tree readings, or special advent prayers. We have advent candles, but the candles don’t have a wreath. The kids have been watching a lot of TV and I have been crabby. I am failing at Christmas.
I’ve got a backlog of fun posts that I’ve been wanting to share with you, a pattern to pull together before this next born, and no time to sit at the computer. Time is passing quickly and the baby will be here before I know it. I am not ready. I am failing.
You might be quick to point out that I am pregnant with four little kids and we just moved! I say those are this year’s reasons. I had another set last year and another the year before. I have been living in Chaos Mode for the last 7 years and I am tired of telling myself “We’ll do better next year!”
So, this is me raising my white flag in surrender. This is me letting go of my expectations so that I can spend the rest of this advent working towards the things that matter. This is me throwing out the garbage to make room for something better…
O come, O come, Emmanuel,
And ransom captive Israel,
That mourns in lonely exile here
Until the Son of God appear.
Emmanuel shall come to thee, O Israel.
O come, Thou Day-spring, come and cheer
Our spirits by Thine advent here;
Disperse the gloomy clouds of night,
And death’s dark shadows put to flight.