Braxton-Hicks contractions, back and hip pain, mild swelling, fatigue…
Five weeks to go and it would seem that the little dude has decided it was high time for him to get some attention around here.
I’ve realized over the weekend that I have been pushing off the emotional processing needed to welcome a baby into the world. With the first baby it is all you can think about, but with subsequent children it has been harder to take the time inwardly focus, to open my heart to the new little person. I have been feeling a little silly overhearing first-time moms gushing about how they can hardly wait until the birth and how they wish they could have the baby today. When asked, I have to respond that I don’t feel ready yet and “haha, they are so much easier in than out” or something lame like that.
I never felt totally prepared for Gladys, and I certainly was NOT prepared for the earth-shattering mind-blowing amount of LOVE that exploded out of me for her. It was like my heart had practiced this mother-love before and it knew just what to do. It is such a consolation whenever I feel guilty for not feeling “ready” to know that I have it in me to love on this next child of mine, no matter how I feel before the birth.
Even so, I want to give this baby the gift of a ready heart and I want to work towards it – trying to look beyond just checking things off the to-do list, and making my actions a gift for the person they are readying for. Isn’t that what all of our worries over nurseries and layettes and freezer meals are really all about?
I’m trying to decide what would be some good projects for meditating and praying my way through. What things will bring me joy to work on and that would remind me of the sweet-smelling bundle to come? A baptismal gown? A new sling? Setting up a cozy corner in my room and filling it with tiny clothes and diapers?
Because ready or not…
He will come.
I am open for suggestions of project ideas? What would you give your child who already has everything he needs from his older siblings? What could I make that would be special for him?
Mary L. says
A cozy, cuddly new blanket. Congratulations and prayers for the upcoming weeks.
Jess @ If Only They Would Nap says
oh jodi, this is really good. really good for me to read too. i’m feeling much of the same. i have purchased a few pieces of clothing – i have always done that for every baby, because even though they are all boys and i usually have everything i “need,” i just feel like each baby has to have something special of his own. something that i remember him wearing for the first time before anyone else. i’ll probably also make him a few pieces as well. but preparing my heart… that’s good. thanks for writing this.
I remember being sooo excited with my first too… Just had my second in september and tried to pretend I was not going to give birth because I didn’t want to have a panic attack over the thought of Labour lol. But I was a week early, and it only took an hour and a half.
For my second girl I made her a dress to wear home (which she didn’t get towards home because it was too big on my teeny 5lber) and I made my own flannel swaddling/receiving blankets, that I did get to use on taking her home. I also used the zaaberry baby hat pattern to make her cute little hats to wear at the hospital instead of theirs.
Tina Horst says
totally understand this post. i felt equally silly with my last (fourth) pregnancy as their was a new mom at church who was also due the same week as I. She was so gushy and happy and I was just not feeling ready and a lil worried about how I would manage all my responsibilities with my new bundle coming along. and oddly enough I didn’t feel the reality of what was about to transpire until I am in the actual hospital being prepped for my csection. and then all the emotions just came rushing over me. and my son was soo sweet i was just overcome with adoration for him. and things have gone so much smoother than i had imagined they might. Freezer meals seriouosly made it soo much easier for me to transition with the new baby; but the one sewing project I wish i had done was a sleepsack for him since the bedrooms are so chilly in winter. It was hard to imagine being anything but overheated while pregnant in August. 🙂 Blessing to you this week.
You could make a bunting to wear in the first days, some stretchy swaddling cloths, a fuzzy soft blankie to stroke, something black and white to look at while lying down, a personalized growth chart, or a little clutchy toy. Whatever you think would delight this person!
I don’t have much advice, I have only one.. but these are such beautiful photos… including the one of your belly!
Marie Cheek says
My baby is 26 years old now, but thanks for reminding me of those lovely maternal feelings. I can’t wait to see what you decide to make…and the pics are beautiful!
Kristina @nerdysewist says
Oh Jodi, I so love this post. It made my heart soar. Thank you! If it were me, I’d make an heirloom quilt — not just a baby size, but something that will keep with you through the ages. However, I know you may not be as much into a quilt… I love the idea of a baptismal gown, though. Close to the heart and to God. It sounds perfect!
Such a sweet, sweet post. My baby-making days are over, but I remember the feeling you describe all too well. Before our third was born, I pieced together several of those flannel receiving blankets we had collected — they were too small for swaddling but too large for burp cloths. I made a very simple quilt. She often lay on it to play after she was born, and we used it to pad the bottom of her pack-n-play where she slept (a no-no, I’m sure). It was my way of making something new for her out of something her brothers had also used. (It was also easy enough not to add too much to my full plate.)
God bless you and your family.
Every part of life has a season. The time for the first baby is special in a different way than the time of birth for the fifth baby. Do not feel guilty because you do not have the anticipation similar to the first.For one thing, you dont have the time to savor being prego with your arms full of your other blessings! Just keeping it together while 8 months pregnant and caring for 4 young children is admirable! When the time comes for the birth you will have all the love needed for the new little one. If you feel like it and have time I would suggest a small lovie blanket or stuffed creature. In the stolen moments while working on the project say prayers of thanksgiving for this miracle growing in you. I sit typing this with my 5 month old on my lap, my 3 and 4 year old jumping on the couch and my 1 year old napping. Your post has reminded me to stop and treasure each one of them and thank God for their little lives being put in my husband and my hands. What a awe-inspiring responsiblity we have. 🙂 thanks for the reminder. 🙂